


A Long Alter

by nan



Series: Stucky Ficlets [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unhappy Ending, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nan/pseuds/nan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve asks Bucky to walk him down the aisle at his and Sam's wedding. Bucky can't refuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Long Alter

**Author's Note:**

> For an anon on tumblr who prompted me: Bucky at Sam and Steve's wedding, Steve asks Bucky to give him away.
> 
> This focuses on Steve and Bucky's relationship (or rather, Bucky's feelings for Steve) and but it's definitely not a happy fic. Just. Letting you know ahead of time. ;;;

"Walk me down the aisle?" Bucky froze, brow furrowing and eyes widening; Steve misinterpreted his reaction and chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know it's cheesy but we kind of want a traditional wedding. As much as Sam and I can get, anyway. You're my best friend and the only family I've got." Steve shrugged, a sheepish grin on his face. "So what do you say? Mind walking me down the aisle?" Bucky was quiet for long enough that Steve's smile faded, that little wrinkle between his brows appearing as he started to wave off the question.

"Yeah," Bucky interrupted, voice hoarse and he cleared his throat. "I mean, yeah, I'll do it. I'm...I'm honored, Steve." 

Steve tilted his head, the smile coming back. "Yeah? Are you okay? You sound a little..."

Bucky smirked, a slow curve of his mouth that suddenly felt too dry. "I'm very honored," he said.

Steve laughed, pulling him close for a hug. "Thanks, Buck." The words were soft against Bucky's ear and Bucky didn't reply; his arms circled Steve in a tight grip, his face tight and pained now that it was hidden from Steve's view.

***

Steve took a deep breath, looking uncomfortable in his tux, and Bucky shook his head. "Stop worrying, pal," he said, putting his hands on Steve's shoulders and shaking him gently. "You're going to be fine." He was going to be better than _Bucky_. He looked good, his broad shoulders filling out the tux, the the expensive fabric hugging his form. But Bucky only had eyes for Steve's face, for the raised eyebrows and too fast smile, the compulsive lip chewing. 

Bucky pretended, just for a moment, that this was _their_ wedding, that Steve was nervous about _them_ getting hitched. But that was a dangerous line of thought; it was better to not imagine things he'd never have. 

But Bucky couldn't stop himself from pulling Steve closer. "C'mere," he said, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing his eyes shut. "Sam's...Sam's a lucky guy," he said, the words a mere rasp. 

"Bucky?" Steve pulled back. Bucky tried to hide, to find the mask he'd been wearing ever since he heard about this damn wedding but he must have failed because Steve's eyes first narrowed and then widened, his lips parting. "Buck...you..."

"Captain, Mr. Barnes, are you ready?" 

"Yeah," Bucky said with a grin that looked easy even though it was anything but, and offered his arm. "Come on. Sam's waiting." 

Staring at him, Steve slowly linked arms with him. "Bucky..."

"Don't worry about it," Bucky said. "It's your wedding. It's your big day." The words tasted like coal in his mouth and Bucky could feel himself deaden, like his entire body was the same as his metal arm; lifeless, numb. But he managed to smile for Steve, jostle him a bit until Steve smiled back, though concern was still heavy on his brow. 

Bucky walked him down the aisle and every step felt like torture.

***

Bucky hadn't been in love with Steve his whole life but he had fallen in love with him twice, once before and once after, and he lost him both times. When the priest announced them married, when Steve and Sam leaned in to kiss, Bucky forced himself to watch, even as he wanted to look away, even as he wanted to kill Sam - Sam was a good guy, a _good guy_ \- and steal Steve away. He forced himself to smile until the after party, where he managed to sneak away and put his metal fist through a wall, panting, feeling as if there wasn't nearly enough air for him to breath. 

Natasha found him afterwards, taking in his disheveled appearance, his iron grip on an empty champagne bottle. "Can you even get drunk?" she asked.

Bucky laughed, a harsh, raw sound. "Nope. Just another way HYDRA fucked me over." 

Narrowing her eyes, Natasha knelt down beside him. "Wanna get out of here?" And his blank stare, she continue. "I've got a mission and I need a partner. You look like you need to beat some people up." 

Bucky looked down before looking back up. "Yeah. Yeah, I...need to not be here anymore." Although he didn't need it, Natasha helped him up. She looked at him, her face softening. "I'm sorry," she murmured. 

Bucky swallowed, his throat dry. "I love him," he croaked. "And...I don't know what I'm going to do." 

"You're going to keep going," Natasha said. "You've been through much worse than this." 

Which was true. But that didn't stop Bucky's heart from feeling like ash in his chest; it didn't stop him from painfully wishing that things were different; it didn't stop him from feeling that much colder, as if winter were slowly taking him back over.

**Author's Note:**

> ...sorry. :c
> 
> [Come cry with me about winter soldiers and the captains who love them](http://yaynan.tumblr.com).


End file.
